


At Crossroads

by Band007



Category: Laramie (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:54:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23130529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Band007/pseuds/Band007
Summary: Jess and Slim have always been good friends and partners. However what happens when a cattle drive and argument threaten to tear their friendship apart? Will they made amends before it's too late? (Previously posted on Fanfiction.net)
Relationships: Jess Harper & Mike Williams, Jess Harper/Slim Sherman
Kudos: 10





	At Crossroads

**Chapter 1**

**I do not own Laramie (unfortunately). No copyright infringement is intended.**

"You vixen!"

The yell echoed around the yard reaching the ears of Slim as he painstakingly, chopped and notched new rails for the corral that butted up against the barn.

While Jess was in the midst of breaking the horses late into the day, he had made his way around to finding the meanest of the lot. A stubborn headed, three year-old buckskin filly. In all honesty she was good to look at, but horrible to work with. With Jess being Jess: he saw it in his mind to push her harder than all the others. After Slim's heart successfully lodged in his throat three times following a series of close calls, she crashed through the corral taking Jess with her.

Luckily, they both had nothing more than a couple troublesome bruises and scratches. A far cry from what could have happened. Once he expressed his concerns about Jess pushing himself a little too hard, Jess brushed off Slims warnings and worries with a few curt words as he put the filly back in the barn.

Angrily, Slim kicked around the splintered pieces of wood poles as Jess limped into the barn. He cared about that mule-headed maverick that he'd come to know and see as a brother; that fact alone made it harder to keep his temper in place when Jess brushed aside his worries and showed no concern about his own health and safety.

Slim was about to debate on whether he should drop his tools and find out what the ruckus was all about when a blood curdling scream made his heart drop to his toes. A million possibilities raced through his mind as the scream was repeated again. Slim dropped everything in his hands without a second thought, only to regret it an instant later.

The heavy pole he was holding precariously in the air dropped faster and faster as the weight, mixed with gravity, brought it with force to the ground; and Slim against his better judgement in the middle. Reflexes he didn't know he had, flung themselves in overdrive and he attempted to jump out of the way to prevent being injured.  _ Too late. _

The pole smashed into the top of his knee with all the force of a sledge hammer being used at the fair to impress a young lady. Blood roared in his ears and he couldn't mistake the loud, wet pop that came from his knee. Despite his need to be in control at the moment he couldn't stop his body from crumpling to the ground with the pole heavy on top of him.

Pain assaulted him as the ear-splitting scream came again only this time he caught the sound of laughter mixed with it. Slim closed his eyes.  _ Someone must really be getting a kick out of this one. _ It was a relief, everyone was safe. Pushing the heavy pole off, his hand reached for his knee trying to get the pain to subside.

There was no way he was going to allow Jess to walk around the side of the barn and find him as helpless as a newborn.

Oh no...maybe he was as stubborn as his partner was but he still had his pride to consider.

**Chapter 2**

Jess hastily crammed the last few provisions in his saddle bags as he finished picking the end morsels of breakfast out of his teeth. He cast an anxious glance towards the closed door of the house as he waited for Slim to come out and join him. Reaching down he worked to tighten the cinch on his saddle and bit back a groan.

His arms and shoulders were still sore from breaking the new stage runners particularly the young buckling he'd dubbed Whirlwind. A full days work mending fence and playing around with Mike, had driven its fair share of soreness out of his muscles yet there was still some deep dregs of pain that refused to go away completely. Dark bruises stretching down his side and crossing his ribcage hadn’t been serious to need much attention; they were just annoying.

Jess' musings were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening and closing as a familiar stride ate up the distance between Jess and the porch. With his back turned, he listened for the signs of pain in his partners gait. He knew Slim was hurting from the incident with the pole, but insisted on coming to the cattle drive. Not even Daisy had managed to convince him otherwise.

"Jess, Slim!" Jess was almost knocked over as a small brown headed form nearly knocked him to the ground. He couldn't swallow the groan as the boy slammed into the tender bruises on the side he was favoring. A pair of small arms slid around his middle and hugged him fiercely.

"Do ya haffa go?" Mike's question was garbled with his face pressed into Jess' shirt.

"Yes Mike, I hav' ta go. But don't you worry we'll be back before you know it." Jess worked to release the arms that were like a vise squeezing the air from his lungs. He pushed Mike away from him so he had enough room to kneel down in front of him. Placing his hands on Mike's shoulders and looked him in the eye. "You take real good care of Daisy and ya mind her ya hear? Now, you’re the man of the house while we’re gone so make sure all the stock are fed properly. And don’t forget to help Mose change the teams of horses for the stages but be careful not to get in the way and get trampled."

"I will, I promise. Come back safe and take me fishin' will ya?" Jess' heart melted at the lopsided grin that spread across Mike's innocent face.

"Will do Tiger." He playfully ruffled the hair on Mike's head and gave Daisy a fare-well wave. "Keep your distance around the new horses and make sure Daisy doesn’t have to get after you all the time."

"I will Jess! See you soon!"

"Ready to go?" Jess' deft fingers checked the cinch one last time and flipped the stirrups back down with practiced movements before answering Slim's question.

"Jus' waitin' for you" Jess nimbly swung into Travelers saddle with practiced ease. From his view high on Traveler, he didn't miss the hesitation in Slim's eyes as he placed his bad leg in Hoot's stirrup. The unmistakable gasp of pain seemed to echo in the silence as Slim painfully hauled himself into the saddle.

"Slim..."

"Now don't you start in on me!" Slim growled as he guided Hoot down the dirt path that led towards the southern range where they had penned some of the herd they intended to sell.

"Oh come off it Slim! We both know you're in no condition to go around chasing cattle all the way to Casper for a week. Why don’t you put aside your pride and stay here. I can handle running those cattle to Laramie and getting a fair price for them. I’ve done it before and I can do it again."

"We've already been over this! My knee is fine, really!"

"Sure you're fine! Why else would you gasp and groan through the entire day?" Jess' irony cut through the silence surrounding Jess and Slim while they rode away from the shouts of good wishes Mike was energetically giving out.

"I'm not the one with bruises all over my body because of my own stubbornness! You have no regard for your own safety so long as your stubborn pride gets its way! The filly should have bashed your head in a few more times. She mighta given ya the needed sense you're missing! " Slim's retort brisk and rising in volume.

"No! Don't let  me forget! You're the stubborn one that drug himself all the way up to the front porch from the barn: on his stomach because he was too stubborn to let anyone give him help! Don't blame me when you end up riding in the Chuck wagon the whole way because you insisted on bringing your arrogance and dislocated knee along! If I'm stubborn then you're three times worse." Without noticing Jess' voice rose to match the volume and anger of Slim's.

In all honesty looking back Jess had to admit it would have been better if the argument had ended there and not gone any further. It would have saved both sides a lot of grief, pain, and guilt in the months to come. But when human emotions are involved, you don't always end up thinking on the rational side. Things are said that can never be taken back.

Slim's next words would haunt him for months to come.

"Maybe the high and mighty Jess Harper should remember who's running the outfit here! This is my ranch, my cattle, and my money that pays your wages. You don't know what it's like to have your own place and work sun up to sun down trying to keep your dreams alive. You wouldn't know what it feels like to put your heart and soul into a piece of land your family expects you to care for, only to wonder late at night if it's enough to live off of. To top all of this madness off, I have a ranch hand that thinks just because he's put a few hours into the back-breaking work of helping me run this place, he has the right to tell you how things should be run."

Slim didn't notice how Jess' hand tightened on the reins causing Traveler to chew at the bit.

"The same ranch hand, who gives me a flowery speech about self-preservation when he's the one I pull back from running off to have his name on countless wanted posters. That two-bit gunslinger I might add: who's never had a dime to his name and hires out his gun for a plug nickel just to buy some watered down cheap whiskey to drown a past, that always manages to come up and bite him every time he attempts to 'go straight'. Now that's a model citizen! And just to clear things up, I wouldn't have a dislocated knee if you hadn't been teasing Mike and startled me! So don't you dare think you can read me the riot act!"

As the last words of Slim's tirade came spilling out, Jess fought the urge to yank his so called friend right off his horse and teach him a thing or two about his attitude. A few years ago: Jess as reckless and wild as a blue northern, would have done just that and not given a second thought as to what the consequences might be. But in all honesty, living at the Sherman Ranch had mellowed Jess out. Things he would have done then he wouldn't have the nerve to do now.  _ Just when I thought I was safe to put away the callous feelings of a gunfighter... _

Resisting the urge to cram his fist down Slims throat, Jess ran the edge of his hand down his gun holster as he fought to keep his head. Whether Slim had intended to or not, he’d successfully hit several sensitive chords in Jess' past. Years ago when he’d lived by the code of the gun, he would have shot someone for those words and never given it a second thought about so called self-preservation. How could Slim blame Jess for what happened to him when it was just a freak accident?

After his family was murdered, Jess learned hard lessons about life. Following a couple close brushes with death, he learned trusting friends with your life was a commodity he couldn't afford. All friends did was get you killed, and you were better off without them. Once he strapped on the gun; looking over his shoulder became an instinct. Slim had opened a part of him that’d died with his brothers and sisters. He had dared to trust and feel with his heart again. As Slim's flippant remark rolled over him, it felt like someone had twisted a knife in his back. No matter how much he tried to look at it through Slim’s eyes it was a betrayal.

Silence followed them as Jess studied the landscape around him. Winter snows had melted off, and the lush plants had excitedly soaked in the abundant moisture found in the Spring. The deep green grass brought back long forgotten memories of the need to be over the next ridge and the constant urge to keep moving. The drifting itch that had long since left Jess since he came to Laramie, but now it was back. It was calling him like a long lost friend and a part of him wanted to answer it.

As they reached the cattle and pushed them towards Laramie Jess gave into the urge to look as far as he could see across the horizon. Maybe it was Spring fever or that cold hard fact he had nothing tying him to Laramie anymore; but either way Jess made up his mind.

After the cattle drive was over, it was time to move on.

* * *

The ride to the main herd was as silent and tense as the grave. Slim and Jess only exchanged as many words as were needed to chase down strays who attempted to wander away from the rest of the cattle wishing for greener grazing pastures. With a few quick whistles and hoots: they had the strays back in order and were soon in Laramie.

A few weeks before the cattle drive, all the ranchers intending to sell stock agreed to combine their herds together a quarter of a mile outside of Laramie. They all felt if they pushed their cows together they would be safer from rustling and have more hands to keep the cows from getting lost. While losing a few head of cows was somewhat expected because of the trail conditions, this plan would hopefully ensure more cows made it to the market and a better profit was made.

Anyone watching Jess and Slim bring in their cattle wouldn't notice something was off about the pair. There was a sort of brotherly bond that ran thick between them that a blind man would notice. Yet today something was different.

As Mort Cory watched the pair, he noticed there was something different this time. That's when he realized what his instincts were trying to tell him; the good natured and easy bond between them was gone.

Once Jess and Slim pushed the last few cows through the drovers circle around the main herd Mort's fears were confirmed. Usually when the work had simmered down enough where there was time to talk, Jess and Slim would be bantering back and forth. Today instead, they kept their horses separate and did anything possible not to have anything to do with each other.

As a last ditch effort to prove himself wrong, Mort raised his hand and called out a greeting to them both. Almost in perfect tandem, they raised their arms and returned his greeting and both started to move towards him simultaneously. He was certain he had made an honest mistake about the sudden coldness between both of them, when they abruptly pulled their horses to a halt and glared at each other.

"Now just where do you think you're going?!" He heard Jess' raised voice over the sudden silence as everyone in hearing range, as shocked as Mort was, stopped and stared at the growing argument.

"Where are  you going!?" Slim shot back with enough venom to cause a rattlesnake to drop dead.

"I asked you first!" Came Jess' childish retort that caused Mort to spur his horse closer towards the pair. There was a bad feeling he might have to pull these two apart before they drew blood. In all his years with Slim and Jess he'd never seen these two have so much anger in their eyes for each other.

"What is going on here?" His voice snapped like a whip. Mort watched as the two glanced at him briefly only to return to glaring at each other as viciously as ever.

"What's wrong?" Slims voice cracked with more anger than Mort had ever heard him use before. He almost swore was talking to a completely different person. "Oh, I'll tell you what's wrong here Sheriff. What's wrong is I hired a mule-headed, side-winding, unsociable no-good gunslinger who doesn't know the barrel from the hammer on his own filed six-shooter!"

Mort Cory's breath caught in his throat as he waited for Jess' reaction. He'd seen Jess bash in men's skull's in for a comment like that.  _ Given he didn't shoot 'em first. _

"Takes one to know one! And believe me Slim Sherman ,I know more about guns and fights than you will ever know while you go on living on your nice "safe" ranch. To be honest it's boring to do the same chores over and over again every day. Maybe that's why you're so unstable! You went insane doing the same thing every day your brain just wasted away! You're pickin' for a bustin' and I'd sure be happy to oblige to what you want." By now every rancher within hearing range was showin' up to watch an early mornin' spectacle wondering if they’d have to haul the pair off each other.

"Name it!" At Slims invitation Jess dove off his horse and bounced his fist off Slims jaw. The force of Jess' shoulder behind the punch, snapped Slim’s head back. Mort had first hand experience that it would do its damage. Slim reflexively threw a punch back, but Mort couldn't see if it landed as the crown converged on Jess and Slim trying to split the pair apart. Left with no other option, Mort drew his six-shooter and fired.

"Enough! What is wrong with you two? Have you gone insane?" Mort's own temper rose over their voices and forced them to stop and look at him. "You either tell me what's going on, or I’ll haul you both to the jail and let you cool off in a cell until you're both like men again!"

The crowd split and heads snapped up to look at Mort as his shot echoed around them. Still trapped in the grips of their friends, Jess and Slim stood with their vests hanging crooked off their shoulders. In the fray Jess' hat was lying abandoned on the ground in the dirt and blood was trailing out of their mouths and knuckles. Seeing he had stopped the fight effectively, Mort holstered his gun and watched as the two wildcats were released and went about getting themselves back in order.

"So? Do either of you two ruffians have anything to say?"

"Just one thing... I'm not working anywhere close to him for the next week: or ever." As he spat out the last words Slim wiped the blood from this bottom lip and walked towards Hoot and made his way over to the drovers vainly trying to get the herd back settled down.

"Jess?"

Sapphire eyes looked up at him cold and hard. "Don't ask me, Sheriff. I'm not the one with the problem here." In stunned silence, Jess picked up his hat and started off in the opposite direction as his ex-partner.

Mort sighed and gazed towards the outline of Laramie in the distance. His deputy could handle things for a while as he worked to pry what was going on between Jess and Slim out. If things weren't settled soon they would kill each other.

If anyone asked: he deserved a vacation.

* * *

Any rancher, drover, or ranch hand could tell you a cattle drive was hard work. The kind of work that left you emotionally and physically worn out with more muscles hurting in your body than you ever thought possible. Not only were you dirty and exhausted, in the mornings you were tempted to pull the covers over your head and hope it was all a bad dream, only to find it was a living nightmare. Everyone knew a myriad of things could go wrong and be irreparable in seconds before there was time to act.

In all honesty with himself, Mort knew there was a reason he chose to be a lawman rather than a rancher. Even a few days into the cattle drive he was going crazy eating dust and watching the back end of countless cows hour after hour. His thoughts slipped to what had happened yesterday in Laramie. To see two men so close one minute and jumping down each others necks the second made his mind swirl.

It had been a day since Slim and Jess had traded blows. Like Mort, dozens of drovers had vainly to pry answers as to why the pair were on the outs and as far as Mort knew, no one has been successful. Mort whistled to the stragglers getting them moving when he remembered the day he first met Jess.

* * *

_ Across the street from where Mort stood, he watched Slim Sherman and a stranger ride into Laramie. Laramie was a small town and as is common with small towns: word travels fast. Once word spread Slim Sherman had hired on a drifter by the name of Jess Harper Mort almost dropped the rifle he was cleaning on his foot. _

_ Mort managed to make it to the Stage stop right as Mose was arriving with the morning stagecoach. His heart ceased to beat when Mose confirmed his worst fear; Jess Harper was working at the Sherman Ranch. Mort was at the door to race for his horse when Mose explained Slim knew Jess was a famous gunfighter. Harper had been forthcoming about who he was and what he'd done as a drifter. How could Slim be so stupid? _

_ It seemed Jess had finally agreed to come into Laramie. Mort tried to be by some degree a fair man when it comes to judging men by their character as his job demanded. Any outlaw who came looking for a second chance to reform themselves, he was inclined to give them a second chance. However, when it came to giving a gunfighter a chance Mort felt that was another thing entirely. No matter how much you tried and or who you were, once you put on the gun you couldn't take off the gun. If you tried you were carving your own headstone. _

_ Being in the same town with a well known gunslinger made his hackles rise. He suddenly felt like he was getting set up for a fight with his hands tied. Every lawman worth his salt was inclined to run out any gunslinger who came sniffing around. Once you allowed one into town they attracted others like flies and molasses. _

_ Through the light rain Slim and his new companion stepped down from their horses at the hitching rail in front of the Stage Office. Sheriff Cory, out of instinct, unhooked the fastener on the hammer of his gun before stepping of the jail and took a seat in the chair on the boardwalk. Even though he knew Slim to be a good judge of character, he wasn't going to be caught off guard. _

_ Mort had been the sheriff of Laramie for three years serving as a deputy around the territory and then he was finally offered the job as sheriff. In his time wearing a badge, Mort had seen all there was to see. He'd settled situations from disturbing the peace to the occasional murders and bank robberies. He felt he was able to handle anything this job threw at him, but one thing he wasn't used to was the sight of a low slung gunslinger rig. _

_ Mort's head shot up as he heard the sound of the door open from across the street at the Stage Office. Slim noticing Mort, nudged the man shadowing his footsteps and adjusted his course to greet Mort who was leaving back precariously in his favorite chair. _

_ A black, dusty Stetson sat on Harper's head; and worn denim pants painted the flawed illusion that the short and seemingly normal man standing beside Slim was as harmless as a newborn kitten. Yet based on the number of notches in Harper's stock told the truth. This man was ruthless and shot men with no second thought. Quietly Jess' eyes raked down Mort and stopped at the unfastened loop. _

_ "Mort!" Slim warmly extended his hand and Mort stood to take it. " Jess I'd like you to meet Sheriff Mort Cory. Mort meet-" _

_ "Jess Harper." Mort didn't bother to add any charm or social graces to his blunt response. "News travels fast around here. Good or bad..." _

_ Out of the corner of his eye he saw Slim shoot him a warning glare. Instead of reining himself in, Mort held his pinning glare with the gunslinger. Despite what Slim thought about him being disrespectful he had a reason for his attitude. _

_ He wanted to see how long Jess Harper could hold in his temper before he reached for the gun. Some might say he was toeing the line and practically begging to be shot but he wanted to make sure Harper was the kind to reach for the gun when he had no choice. Instead of using the gun to make himself more powerful and assure his "place" in the world. _

_ Instead Jess' response was far from what he was expecting. _

_ "Slim's been goin' on and how he loves livin' here. I'm not here ta cause trouble. I'm lookin' for a place to settle down." The Texas accent drawled smoothly as if Jess didn't have a care in the world about the half-cocked Sheriff standing in front of him. There was no trace of anger or resentment to be found. _

_ If it was any other gunslinger, Mort would have taken every word he said and not given it a second thought. Yet, there was an unexplainable thread of honesty and openness Mort caught in his voice. For some ridiculous reason he believed everything the gunfighter said. _

_ "Jess do you mind going to check that order at the blacksmith's for me?" _

_ The drifter nodded his head to Slim and made his way down the street. As soon as Jess was out of hearing range Slim jerked Mort by the arm into the Sheriff's office. _

_ "What do you think you're doing here?!" _

_ "You didn't think I'd invite him in with open arms did you? What are you thinking, hiring on a well known gunfighter? Do you know anything about him?" _

_ "Mort, I know you're just doing your job but it's my decision to hire whoever I choose. It's no secret I've needed to hire a new hand for months now. Just give him a chance to prove himself. Please?" _

* * *

He'd taken Slims advice and found Slim, as irritating as it was, was right. Jess turned out to be a man he trusted with his life with no hesitation.

"Mort!" Slim rode up next to him and mopped his brow. "Sure is a hot one ain't it?"

"It's a scorcher alright. One thing you can count on in Wyomin', if ya don't like the weather just wait ten minutes. We'd better at least enjoy the warmth while it lasts, by the look a them storm clouds yonder we'll have ourselves a drencher."

"We might just make a good cowman outta you yet." Slim slapped his shoulder and looked over the herd. "The scout came back and said there was a river about three miles up ahead. We should reach it about early afternoon, probably an hour after the storm you've been watchin' catches up with us. I hope you brought your slicker!"

Jess pulled the collar of his slicker a little higher, irritated as the trickles of water still managed to make trails down his spine sending his teeth chattering. Bringing his gloved hand to his face he tried to blow some warmth into his numb fingers. The cold has bit through every layer of clothing he had on, making him miserable.

Anxiously he looked to the horizon hoping to see the river Curly had told everyone about. The river meant the day was done and he was able to crawl into his blankets he was desperately working to keep dry.

Jess turned in the saddle and grimaced sympathetically at where Mort was riding drag. Drag was one of the most, if not the most, hated positions in a cattle drive. In fact employers drew straws to see who was unlucky enough to ride drag all day. He knew what it was like to eat dust all day like Mort was doing now.

Suddenly the attitude in the cows changed. The cows had caught the scene of water and as every good cow-puncher knows from experience, there was nothing stopping the herd from running into the river.

A sharp whistle caught Jess' attention and he saw Rusty Johnson riding to him.

"The river's rose with the rain! The only way we'll get across now is if we take the chuck-wagon across with the herd. It's risky but 'bout the only chance we got!" Rusty spurred his horse and moved on to spread his news.

His stomach churned in his gut when he thought about taking the wagon across with the cattle. When cattle crossed a stream: drovers would bunch the cows together to keep them from straying. When crossing a river with several hundred head of cows at the same time in the exact place made the river bed unstable and would undoubtedly be less trouble.

He didn't like this, not one bit.

* * *

Chewing on the inside of his lip Jess watched as the chuck-wagon was driven into the river staying to the left of the herd as they waded into the water catching a drink when they crossed. As it so happened a yearling had decided a swift drink wasn't enough for her liking and stopped in the middle is the trading river beside the wagon the same time the wagon's wheel stuck in the unstable mud. Add the closest man to the problem he waded into the water.

The murky water felt like ice to his skin and the water rose higher and higher to his waist. Traveler struggled to keep his footing in the dark, raging, deep water. With a whoop Jess coaxed the young heifer to move as far from the wagon as he could before rolling up his sleeves so to speak to the problem at hand.

In an instant things went from bad to worse. Who knows what caused that cows top think add she did but she sent all her weight into Traveler's shoulder sending Jess off the horse as Traveler stumbled.

When you're in water, everything seems still and quiet and undeniably peaceful. Then the weakened soil supporting the wagon gave way causing the wagon to tip to the side and slamming into Jess.

"Jess!" Slim yelled once he saw the water close over his partner and the wagon tip precariously.

Mort rode up beside him and nervously scanned the unrelenting waves. Painstaking seconds passed as they waited for signs of life or death...

***Note: Most often in this time period ranchers typically sold their cattle in the fall so they had less animals to feed through the winter because hay was so hard and labor intensive to harvest. However there were some cases, they sold cattle (mostly yearlings and calves) in the Spring. For the sake of my story I have the characters selling their cattle in the Spring.**

**Chapter 3**

He couldn't see! Jess slammed his shoulder against the wagon that left him pinned. Dark spots danced in his vision and he felt his fingers lose their strength. More than anything he wanted to take a breath and fill his oxygen starved lungs with air.  _ Here I was complaining about being cold and wet. Slim was going to kill me for this. Daisy, Mike, I'm so sorry I didn't make it back and take Mike fishing. Slim... I'm sorry I wasted the time I had left with holding a grudge. It was an honor to be your partner for as long as I lived with you. You saved me from myself Slim. Thank you. _

The dark spots grew larger until unconsciousness took him.

"Jess!" Slim's heart raced in his chest as he looked over the white water dreading his partner was dead.

Slim stepped off his horse and shrugged off his slicker and heavy coat. He berated himself for waiting so long to help Jess.

"What are you doing? If you go into the river you'll be swept into the herd and trampled. Think about Mike and Daisy who'll take care of them!" Mort slid off his horse into the mud beside Slim; forcing his friend to look at him in an attempt to stop Slim from diving into the river.

"I'm not going to let Slim die!" Slim tugged off his boots and dove into the rushing river.

It was shocking to dive into the freezing water and fight the raging current. Against his best efforts, Slim felt himself begin to drift away from Jess and the wagon downstream like Mort predicted. Frantically he doubled his efforts and finally gained ground causing the wagon to come closer. Spitting the water out of his mouth as the waves slapped into his face Slim gripped the wagon close to where he saw Jess go under.

"Joe! Leave the team and swim to the other side! From this distance you can make it safely!"

"Slim! You can't save Jess without help!" Joe yelled back over the noise of the rushing water.

The water ate at his strength until he felt he was weaker than a kitten. Joe was right, it was foolish to think he could save Jess alone and if he rejected Joe he could kill Jess. Yet he also knew if he asked for Joe's help he could cause the cook's death.

"Alright. Get over here by me. Once I free Jess pull us up!" He heard a splash as Joe jumped into the water next to him. Without waiting to be sure Joe made it safe, Slim dove deep into the water feeling the sides of the wagon as he submerged himself. Desperately, he swept his fingers below him waiting for his fingers to touch Jess' body. All to soon Slim's body demanded air as he felt his fingertips go numb.

With no other choice Slim kicked his feet to the surface and took a deep breath before diving down again. He felt his hands brush something under the wagon.  _ Jess! _ Groping around he tried to find how Jess was pinned so he could free him. Jess was limp in his arms and forbidden thoughts came into his head about what was wrong with him. Bracing is shoulder under the wagon, Slim lifted the dead weight as high as he could while pulling on Jess. No matter how much he tried the wagon wouldn't budge.

A touch caused Slim to turn feeling for the source. The unknown hand clamped down on his shoulder and pushed it towards the wagon in a strange gesture. When Slim made no movement to do what the hands were gesturing, the symbol was repeated again and Slim understood. The hands wanted him to push the wagon off Jess while they pulled Jess out from under the wagon. Slim braced his shoulder under the bed of the wagon once more and pusher harder willing the dead weight to budge.

Finally, the wagon shifted enough for the hands to pull Jess past Slim. He shoved the wagon away hard to keep from becoming trapped like Jess. Then he kicked to the surface gasping for air. Frantically, Slim tried to find who had Jess. Then he saw Joe hauling a dead weight behind him towards Mort pacing the length of the riverbank. Slim's only thought was to get to the bank and make sure Jess was alright.

"Jess! Mort how is he?" Mort looked up at him solemnly as he held Jess' lifeless form in his arms. Choking on water Slim crawled to Jess knowing there had to be something he could do for his friend.

He jerked Jess out of Mort's arms and shook him, tears coming to his eyes. Laying him across his lap he pounded on Jess' back begging him to take a breath willing to give anything up for Jess as long as he lived.

"Slim..." he hated the sound of sympathy that threaded through Mort's voice.  _ Jess was not dead he could not be dead. _ A hand grasped his arm stalling his movements. "Slim it's time to let him go."

Slim rested his head on Jess' black hair begging God, anyone to give him his friend back. Unchecked tears spilled down the cheeks as the rest of the cattle ranch crew gathered around Slim dropping their heads in respect for his sorrow.

**Chapter 4**

His heart was in a million pieces. It felt like someone had ripped out his heart and there was no way to fix the damage.

Slim held Jess in his arms with a tight grip daring anyone to try and take his friend from him. Jess stiffened in his arms and Slim thought nothing of it: mistaking it for the last convulsions of death.

Harsh hacking brought his eyes to Jess as water was expelled from Jess' lungs. His tears of sorrow turned to tears of relief. His partner was back!

"Jess!" Mort rushed over to where Slim was holding a coughing Jess in his arms on the muddy bank. Slim rubbed Jess' back giving Jess as much comfort as he could while more water was coughed up.

"Slim?" Jess' voice was weak and broken up but brought more joy to Slim's heart than he thought was possible. "Is everyone ok?"

"Everyone's fine Jess. Better that you actually." Jess' shoulders sagged with relief and he leaned comfortably against Slim.

Mort dropped a warm blanket around a shivering Jess, and turned to look at Slim. An unspoken conversation passed between them.

"We'd better get you two warmed up and put to bed. The last thing we need is for you both to catch a cold." Mort's lowered voice carried the relief tumbling inside Slim a million miles a minute.

* * *

Slim shivered by the fire cradling the warm cup in his hand. It'd take over an hour to push the rest of the herd across the river and pull the chuck-wagon out of the unstable river bed.

Through the flames Slim watched Jess sleep wrapped in numerous blankets that swallowed him whole. After the near disastrous events, their argument seemed so petty. Shame pricked his heart as he relived the enraged words he had shouted at Jess a few days ago. He wouldn't blame Jess if he chose to wander his own paths after this mess. No one deserved to be treated like he had.

Slim watched the newly stoked fire eat up the wood and allowed a wry smile to come to his face. It was almost funny.

"What are you smilin' about?" Jess had long since allowed his Texas accent to fade where it was almost unnoticeable. Still whether Jess intended it to our not the accent managed to turn up at times when Jess allowed his cold gunslinger attitude to fade. Why the accent was back tonight Slim didn't know. Though he wondered if it had something to do with Jess being too tired to speak without it.

"Jus' how foolish I must look right now. First, I pick a fight with you over the smallest thing and then I cried like a child when I pulled you out of that river and thought you were dead." A good natured chuckle broke the silence originating from the other side of the blazing fire.

"If you looked foolish than I must'a been worse. I fell off my horse and then have ta have you an' ol' Joe save me. Seems Jess Harper's lost his touch." A note of sadness made Slim wait for Jess to say more. When Jess remained quiet, Slim sighed and put his cup on the ground beside him.

Flipping over on his back he stared up at the stars. "You ever think about your family Jess?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like what it would be like to spend more time with them. It seemed I was so young when my parents left me and I had to figure out how to raise Andy without them. I had no idea what to do..." Now it was Slim's turn to stop mid-thought.

The fire crackled and popped as the wood was consumed for several minutes before another word was said. It was ironic that two men were closer to forgiveness with each other than they had been in days but were still years away from each other.

"Seems to me you did a good job raisin' Andy the way you did. You're his hero and his whole world revolves around you. You taught him how to stay true to himself and stand up for what he believes in. Ya can't do much better than that."

"Sometimes I wonder... Sometimes I wonder what it would have been like if my pa was still around. He was a good man and he was  my hero. I thought he walked on water, was bullet proof and so great nothing bad would ever happen to him. I was safe with him. He was more than my Pa he was... he was my friend as well." Slim allowed time to go by before adding his last words. "I miss him."

"So that's what's been eatin' you..." Jess' voice wasn't judging but instead understanding. "What started all this?"

"Mike asked me about my Pa and then a letter from Andy... Look Jess I'm really sorry. I had no right to say the things I did and I let my anger get the best of me. Forgive me?" No response from the other side of the fire caused Slim to sit up and look at the dark-haired maverick.

"I forgive you Slim." The anxiety in Slim burst into a million pieces as he heard the words.

Everything was going to be just fine.

**Chapter 5**

_ Three days later _

The rest of the cattle drive passed without any excitement. Things between Jess and Slim lightened considerably and often shared several good natured jokes. No longer were there glares, fists or even anger shared between them. The tension and hate that was so noticeable at the beginning of the cattle drive was gone now.

They were Jess and Slim the two unlikely friends that could move heaven and earth for each other and those they cared about. They fought tooth and nail beside each other to help other people several times at their own loss.

"I can't wait to get to Casper Slim. Can you imagine the feeling to have a roof over your head and being clean for once?" Jess shoved food into his mouth around words.

"You know Slim? I don't know where he puts it? How can one man eat so much and still not gain a pound." Joe joked as he walked around the fire refilling cups and plates. "You suppose he has some condition?"

Smiles vanished when Jess' head came up at Joe's joke. Though Jess had worked beside these men for years, they still couldn't help but be a little wary when it came to the ex-gunslinger. It was no secret Jess' temper was like a powder keg waiting to be lit. Mort and Slim shared a warm glance at the fear from the rest of the drovers.

"Hmm. You just might be right Joe. Maybe when we get into Casper we should have it checked out by a qualified individual." A smile quirked the edge of Slim's mouth. "In fact wouldn't we be such qualified individuals?"

Slim stood to walk towards Jess when Jess flashed to his feet. Throwing his half-eaten plate of food on the ground by the fire Jess backed away to put as much distance between Slim as he could.

"Oh no you don't! You ain't touching one hair!" To emphasize his point Jess threw out his hands like he could ward off Slim's advance. Smiles crossed faces as they watched the friendly stand off between to two friends.

Jess dashed to the other side of the fire making it where Slim had to get through the line of ranchers eating their dinner. He thought it was a good plan until the men sitting at the fire turned and tried to catch him before he got away.

"You're traitors all a ya!" Jess hooped as he danced out of the reach of anyone near him. "You ain't gonna dunk me in the river!" As Slim broke through the ring of men Jess ran to the chuck-wagon.

"Come on Jess all we're gonna do is clean ya off that's all!" Slim's promise offered no comfort as Jess backed up again to the hitch of the wagon.

"Sure! Right 'till I catch my death of a cold! I don't-"

Slim's bad knee buckled causing him to stumble for the closest object to hold himself up with. Jess' cry was drowned out by pile of pots and pans piled into the back of the wagon Slim crashed into. Slim attempted to stop the pans from falling but it was too late. As the last of the crashing stopped no one moved or said a word as they listened. Distantly they heard a rumble headed towards the camp.

"Stampede!" Everyone raced to jump on their horses and stop the cows from crashing through camp.

**Chapter 6**

"Slim stay here and help Joe!" Jess yelled the words as he swung himself up onto Traveler's saddle.

"I can help!"

"Not with your leg you're not! I don't want to have to bury you because you can't ride like we need you to." Slim reached out to stop Jess from riding off without him. "Stay here Slim please!"

Jess spurred Traveler, leaving Slim alone.

Slim watched as Jess rode away into the chaos and once more cursed his dislocated knee. It was his fault they were in this mess. There was too good of a chance more than one person could die tonight.  _ I should have listened to Jess and stayed home like he asked. That would have saved everyone a world of trouble. _

Frustrated, Slim looked at a saddled Hoot less than fifty yards from him. Almost like Hoot sensed his gaze the intelligent animal returned Slim's stare. He never took no for an answer before. Why should he start now?

Traveler raced to a dead run as Jess held on with all his might trying to head the leaders of the herd. Two dozen men fanned out behind him as they raced at reckless speeds to stop the cows. Eventually Jess pulled away from the other men getting closer and closer to the leaders.

_ Come on, come on! Just a few more feet and I can get them to turn. _

"Watch out they're almost to the cliffs!"

The rough trails in front of him narrowed as it churned around the steep hillside with a shelter drop off on the right. Growling, Jess was forced to rein in Traveler and allow his lead to slip as the herd raced passed by.

He gazed over the backs of the out of control herd when he saw something that made his heart drop to his toes. Slim had waded into the surging mass of beef trying to force his way through the center of the herd to the lead. It was risky, but considering the narrow shelf they were on it was the fastest way to get the runaway herd under control.

Jess bit down the urge to call out Slim's name dreading he would distract Slim. Instead he did the only thing he thought he could do. If Slim fell in the midst of the cattle his thin chances of surviving would be cut dramatically by he busted leg. He spurred Traveler into the surging mass.

_ That fool was going to get himself killed... _

Then Jess' worst fears came to reality. One of the charging steers sliced Hoot across his flank. Mixed with the chaos and the smell of his owners fear l, Hoot reared and pranced causing Slim to tilt dangerously in the saddle.

He should have stayed with the chuck-wagon. If he had he wouldn't be fumbling to hold onto the saddle horn as he fell to the ground waiting for stampede to trample him to death.

_ I'm sorry... _

_ His fingertips slipped from their precarious hold on the saddle horn. _

**Chapter 7**

Milliseconds passed like years as Slim fell under thundering hooves. He was powerless to stop himself from falling to his death. _ Oh Jess you were right... _

Jess clenched his jaw as he saw Slim disappear in the cows. He was less than ten feet from where Slim went down but it would take him over three seconds to get there. By then...  _ No! Do not think like that. Slim didn't give up on you don't give up on him! _

Slim hit the ground hard and felt his left arm give way. An abandoned branch was forced through the thin pants he had on and he fought to free himself. Hooves thundered so close to his ear Slim had to fight the urge to jerk away. If he moved a fraction of an inch they would trample him.

"Slim grab my hand!" Jess sat on Traveler extending his hand down to Slim. As more cows dashed by them, Slim held his breath scared to so much as move an inch.

Finally, Slim pushed himself to his feet as he clutched for his lifeline. Slim pitched forward as the limb he was caught in, drug him to the ground. With his desperation running wild, he heard a loud pop as his bad leg was jerked out of its socket again.

"Leave me! I'm trapped!" He saw the agony in Jess' eyes as he peered down on him. "Save yourself you can't free me and get to safety!" He hated the sound of fear in his voice that betrayed his words.

More than anything he wanted to live. He wanted to go for a swim with Jess in the lake when they days got warm. He wanted to sneak a few hours with a cane pole in his hand when he should have been working: to have Jess find him and agree to tell no one as long as he promised to share his bait.

"Jess no! I'm finished! Save yourself!" Instead of listening to reason, Jess dismounted. Behind him Traveler joined the herd leaving their only way out racing away.

Pulling a knife from his pocket, Jess went to work sawing away at his tattered pants holding him captive to the branch. Despite the circumstance, Jess' movements were calm and collected as he worked to free his partner. A steer close to Jess stumbled, but Jess didn't flinch. His only thought was to save the life of his friend. Even if it meant to cost him his own.

At last, Slim was free from the branches clutches as another rider came up to them.

"Mort take him! Get him out of here and back to the wagon. He's hurt and needs a doctor!" Unceremoniously, Jess pushed a protesting Slim into the arms of Mort.

"Don't be a fool boy, no one has to be left here to die!" Mort scrambled for reasons to convince Jess.

"I'm not a fool Mort. We all know only two people can ride that horse to safety. One of us has to stay... it has to be me." Jess felt a hand grip his arm and looked up at Mort.

Mort and Slim's eyes shone with tears as they begged for things to change. Gripping Mort's arm with his own Jess nodded to Slim.

"Take care of Slim for me. Help him understand!" Jess' eyes pleaded as he waited for Mort's answer. Half-consciously, Mort nodded as a steer rammed into Jess' side knocking the air from his lungs and carrying him away from his best friends.

* * *

Choking on breath Jess watched Mort and Slim disappear into the distance. With white knuckles he hung onto the cow that was prolonging his death for a few more minutes. Pain burned and welled in his lungs make him wish this kind of death was a little less painful.

He knew once his strength was gone, he would fall under the sharp hooves of the cows with no hope of rescue. The cow he clung to stumbled sending him crashing to the ground. Jess made no sound as the cattle thundered over him exploding thousands of nerves. A harsh blow to the back of his head sent him reeling into darkness.

Through eyes lidded with pain, Slim watched men climb up the steep hillside intending to cut the herd off before they hit the flatlands. In the aftermath of the stampede, the world was eerily silent as Mort carried Slim back to the fire. Gently, Mort pulled Slim off his horse and laid him on the ground with Joe's help.

"Slim... Joe will take care of you I'm gonna... find Jess" Mort's voice cracked with emotion. "I'll check on you after I come back."

"Mort... Take care of Jess when you find him for me. Please?" Mort patted Slim on the shoulder and disappeared from his view as he left to give Jess the final respects of the dead.

**Chapter 8**

_ "Jessie!" The sunlight warmed his toes as he glanced behind him. Laughter and security wrapped around him as he ran from a giggling Francie. _

_ Racing through the tall grass Jess held his hand out and felt the tall soft stalks. Three pairs of small feet trampled through the grass behind him as they fought to be the first person to their favorite meadow. _

_ "Jessie I'm gonna beat you!" A smile crossed his face when he put on a new burst of speed. _

_ "Not if I get there first!" _

* * *

Mort clenched and unclenched his hand wrapped around the reins as he waited to find the broken body of Jess Harper. Twilight was setting as Mort traveled around the corner of the cliffs that started this mess. Anger squeezed his heart when he thought of what had happened.

Jess Harper was just starting his life. At the young age of 21, Jess' life had just begun. After his family had been murdered, Jess had started out a little on the rough side. He had learned lessons about staying alive from people who knew the most about breaking the law.

Outlaws, gunslinger, and drifters running from the law, family, and themselves had taught the young and impressionable kid how to do anything to stay alive. For the sake of the tally books the lessons had taught the will to stay alive dominated the rule to follow the law. Despite his up bringin' he'd turned out to be a good man.

Judging from where Jess had left Slim and Mort, he managed to he on for a good distance longer than he anticipated.

* * *

_ "Take care of Slim for me! Make him understand!" His breath caught in his throat painfully. Please no... _

_ A steer caught Jess in the ribs and he heard the breath being driven from his lungs. Then Jess disappeared... _

_ What would he give to have the chance to drag Slim and Jess back to the camp; broken and battered but fine enough to fight another day. _

* * *

A bundle of tattered cloth ahead of him wrenched at his heart. With shaky legs Mort stepped off his horse and walked closer. It never got any easier to find the bodies of your friends.

Jess' lifeless form was curled up in his stomach in the middle of the trail. Mort fought to keep his dinner as he knelt beside Jess and placed a gloved hand on his cold back. His shirt and leather vest was torn and drenched in sweat and a little bit of blood. The torn material revealed a gruesome gash that showed the chalky white bone of Jess' shoulder blade.

Choking on sobs, Mort continued to study his fatal wounds knowing he would have to put it all on paper in a report. An inch and a half of hair on the back of Jess' skull was split and trailed blood in a gut-wrenching line down his neck before it had stopped. Taking a shaking hand, Mort turned Jess over on his back so he was facing up. Grasping at straws Mort pressed his fingers against Jess' throat.

He waited, and pressed harder... Nothing.  _ Come on boy fight! I'm not bringing a corpse home! _

Mort ripped his gloves off and tried again. There was no pulse.

Dull eyes gazed up at nothing; another testament Jess was gone. Not wanting to count the countless wounds and gashes covering Jess, Mort untied his bedroll from his horse. Mort separated the canvas from the blanket and began to wrap up Jess' corpse.

With shaking hands, Mort reached and pushed Jess' blank eyes closed.

"I'm sorry kid, you deserved better than this. I hope it was at least quick and as painless as possible." Mort rocked back and forth on his knees keening as the raw emotion found somewhere to go. "What am I going to tell Slim now? It'll break him to see you like this."

His words were dull and flat as the whole world witnessed his pain. Mort threw his head up to the faint stars and yelled as loud as he could. "Why! How could You take him! It isn't right!"

* * *

After a long time Mort forced himself to settle. His next words were drowned out in the snorting of his mount as he whispered, "It isn't fair..."

There was nothing that could be done. Then he saw Slim as he begged him to take care of Jess no matter if he was found dead or alive. Steely determination pushed through him as Mort pushed himself more upright. He'd make sure Jess was taken home and buried properly.

"I'm gonna miss you." The final tears of his pain, dribbled down his cheeks as he folded the cloth over Jess' face and carried him to the horse.

Once he draped Jess across the saddle so he couldn't fall off, Mort picked up the reins and walked back to camp to share bad news.

**Chapter 9**

Slim sat stoically propped against the wheel of the wagon. He caught Mort's concerned gaze at his unemotional composure. Earlier, Joe had fought to get him to drink some whiskey to cut some of the pain. To him it seemed like a waste, but he had taken some to satisfy everyone. How could they expect the pain in his body to be worse than the rending of his heart?

His throat knotted as he looked at the cloth covered figure several feet away. With a broken arm and a busted up leg, there was nothing more he could do than stare at the body of the man he cared about. He didn't think he could handle touching the cold and lifeless body of his brother. If it wasn't for Andy, Mike, and Daisy he didn't think there was a reason to live anymore.

"Slim..."

If only things were different... He could he have been so stupid? Why did he get on his horse and cause Jess' death? Jess would be alive and safe if it had been for him.

"Slim!" Two hands shook his shoulders jarring his broken arm. Shying away from the pain, Slim slunk back as far as the wheel would allow.

Mort knelt in front of him trying to get Slim to look at him. Looking up at Mort, Slim couldn't help but stare at the hollow eyes than pinned him. Shame washed through him as he realized how selfish he was thinking about his own pain. Anguish shone through Mort at the loss of his friend. Seeing Slim notice him, Mort stopped shaking Slim.

"I'm sorry son I had to get your attention." Wearily, Mort slid alongside Slim and sat down beside him. Drawing his legs up, Mort ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine..." His voice was course and broken but Slim didn't care if he showed his tears.

"Sure you are..." Mort tossed his hat to the ground and looked up at the stars. "It'll be morning soon and we'll reach Casper tomorrow. They got the herd settled down and held in by an extra guard."

Slim knew Mort was leading him on. Wanting him to ask how many head they lost in the stampede. The fact was, he didn't care anymore about anything. After a pregnant silence Mort spoke again.

"I reckon we'll get you to a doctor before noon tomorrow; well before the herd reaches Casper. You'll be up on your feet in no time. Sound good?"

"Ya." Slim was trying to get Mort to stop talking so he could retreat to his own thoughts. Apparently, Mort had no such idea.

"Slim don't let this eat at you. Promise me you won't. Jess wouldn't want that." Another silence followed as Mort waited for Slim to promise.

"I'll be fine." Slim's answer was quiet and forced but it was the most he was willing to give.

"That wasn't a promise." Mort's tone bordered on parental.

"No it's not." Mort tried to get him to talk but he finally stopped when Slim refused to reply.

"Get some sleep son." Mort rose to his feet and walked off to talk to the scout.

_ After what had happened, sleep would be the farthest thing. _

* * *

Slim winced in pain as shifted to find a more comfortable position. Riding with a broken arm and dislocated leg wasn't the most comfortable thing to do. Behind him, Mort led Traveler along with Jess draped over the saddle. Tears crashed in on him and he pushed them back.  _ No! He was not going to cry! The time for crying was over and it was time to move on.  _ Once they arrived in Casper, Mort planned to get everything filed with the Sheriff and then rent a wagon so he could drive Jess back to Laramie to be buried.

_ You sure did a number this time you 'ol maverick. By the way you always run off half-cocked it was a possibility you'd be on the wrong side of a gun. Yet in a way that always seemed to be so far away. Like if you didn't ever think about it it'd never happen. What I fool I am! I always thought there was a little more time... a chance to pull you back from the edge and beg death for a few more days. It looks like we ran out of those days... _

_ Mort wanted me to promise him not to let this eat me from the inside out. I couldn't do it. I couldn't let go that easily and just give up. I've got you to thank for that lesson Jess. You taught me I can do more than was thought possible; as long as I just had the will to keep working. Never give up. Never let go. _

_ I don't think a guide book telling how to tackle death was taught in those lessons pard. At least you never got around to teaching me that one yet. I don't know what I'll do without you... _

Slim's reflections ended as the outskirts of Casper came into view. Casper was three times larger than Laramie. People on the street stared as Slim and Mort rode through town and stares landed on the blanket covered figure slung over the saddle.

Pulling up to the hitching rail at the sign for the doctor Slim painfully lowered himself to the ground. Mort pulled his horse up to the rail beside Hoot and hit the ground beside Slim. Deftly, Mort tied both Traveler and his own horse to the rail before walking to the door.

"Mort what about..."

"Let's get you settled here and while the doc's patching you up I'll go to the Sheriff's office and get things filed." Pushing open the door to the Doctors office, Mort ushered Slim inside.

"Can I help you gentlemen?" A young man appeared through a small room off the side of the main entrance.

"You the Doc?" At Skin's question the man nodded and held a hand towards the room he'd just exited.

"I'm Doctor Wilkins, this way please."

Sitting down in the chair the Doctor pointed to, Slim studied the man as he entered and walked around the room. Doctor Wilkins wasn't your typical Doctor. Usually, Doctors tended to be small in stature and have glasses on; looking like they had never seen a day of hard work. Instead Doctor Wilkins was incredibly young and stood as tall as Slim was. Quickly and efficiently, Doctor Wilkins got to work helping Slim take off his shirt.

"Now what happened?" Untying the strips of cloth they had used to splint his arm, the doctor carefully prodded and twisted his arm.

"I'm part of a crew driving cattle here from Laramie. Last night the cattle stampeded and while I was trying to head them... I got busted up." If the Doc noticed the drop in tone of Slim's voice he didn't show it.

"Can you hold your arm out for me?" Slim gritted his teeth as he held out his arm and the Doctor continued to poke and prod.

"It looks like the bone stayed in place and there's no need to set it. I'll have to split it again so we can be sure the bone doesn't slip. Is there anything else that needs fixing?" The humor in another circumstance would have at least make Slim fight a smile yet, today it didn't.

"My leg is a little torn up." As the Doctor moved to look it over Mort waved to Slim.

"I'm headed down the street to see the Sheriff. I should be back before the Doc's finished." With another quick wave Mort disappeared.

**Chapter 10**

Buddy was bored. While Buddy wasn't his real name, everyone called him Buddy like it was. With a half-indian mother, he should at least be happy someone saw fit to call him something other than Indian. Mr. Tanner was the owner of the largest liveries in Casper. Underneath all Mr. Tanners yelling, and permanent scowl he had a soft heart. That soft heart was the reason Buddy had a job at the stable in the first place. It seemed when people looked at Buddy all they saw was the Indian and refused to give him a job even if they needed help running their business. Mr. Tanner was the only person in town willing to give him a chance to prove himself.

In his two years working at the livery Buddy had seen it all, or so he thought. When a man dressed in a light colored shirt and brown vest appeared at the livery door Buddy thought nothing of it until he was the metal star pinned to his vest. Buddy immediately averted his gaze and wordlessly moved to take the man's horses. It wouldn't be the first time someone wearing a badge suspected him of mischief because he gave them the wrong look.

"Wait a minute son." The stranger held the reins tight to Buddy wouldn't take them.

Inwardly, Buddy groaned. This was it. This badge toter was going to haul him off to a white-mans jail never to be seen again for doing nothing wrong. Buddy felt himself start to ease away from the stranger.

"Do you work here?" The stranger clamped a hand down on his shoulder making him tense. Buddy quickly nodded; eager to get away from this man as fast as possible. "Where can I find the owner?"

"I'm right here." A voice from the other end of the stable made Buddy let out a breath of relief. "My name's J. D. Tanner. And you are?"

"Mort Cory, I'm the sheriff of Laramie. I was hoping to rent a wagon." Buddy shifted and tried to move to a far corner of the stable only for the hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Laramie's a fair distance away...how far do you plan to go?"

"All the way to Laramie. I have a friend to return" Mort crooked his thumb over his shoulder towards the three horse beyond him."

Tanner's eyes narrowed as he took in the body slung over the saddle. His look clearly stated he thought the figure slung over the saddle was an outlaw who got on the wrong side of this lawman.

"Alright you have the wagon... just be sure you bring it back as soon as possible. I don't want it getting around I interfered with official business." Mr. Tanner gestured to Buddy.

Mort released the reins and stepped away as the kid took the horses. He let the Livery owners assumption to stand and made no attempt to correct it. He didn't much care what the man thought as long as Jess was taken care of.

"You can leave  everything here and it'll be ready for you when you prepare to leave." It occurred to Mort that the Livery owner was trying to get rid of him.

Buddy pulled the three horses to their stalls and began to unsaddle the strangers mounts. He purposely led the bay with the body slung over it for last. This day had gone from bad to worse.

"Let the boy handle the horses and I'll take care of the body." Raising his hands, Tanner backed away and told him Buddy would take care of everything before disappearing.

Buddy quickly unsaddled Mort's mount and had moved on to Hoot when Mort stepped up and rubbed his horse. From the other stall Buddy watched as the stranger gently rubbed his horse giving him his full attention. Never had Buddy seen someone like this man give so much personal care to his horse before. Unbuckling the cinch and strap Buddy pulled the saddle off and slung the leather over the stall wall when he stopped.

A limp hand hanging below the blanket twitched and clenched. Glancing over his shoulder he watched the lawman continue to run and nudge his horse; completely unaware of what was going on. Setting the saddle down Buddy walked around the stall wall and edged closer to the bay. Nervously, Buddy grasped the hand and gently clenched it in his own. After a few seconds and pressure was returned.

Whoever this was he was alive... Buddy glanced at the unsuspecting lawman. He had no doubt the stranger was responsible for what had happened to the soul slug over the saddle. What was he going to do?

**Chapter 11**

A hazy world came into view when he opened his eyes. Slim groaned as he shifted and sent shockwaves of pain through his injured knee. As the world came into view he realized he was lying on something soft.  _ Where was he? _ The doctor's office in Casper! As Slim thought of the man the Doctor walked closer.  _ Jess! Jess was dead! _

"Our patient's awake." The doctor slid a hand under Slim's shoulders and helped him drink from the glass he held. "How are feeling?"

Slim was tempted to answer truthfully but decided against it. If he answered saying he felt like someone had cut out his heart the good doctor would have him locked up faster than he could saw just kidding. Slim decided to act like the Doctor Wilkins' question was rhetorical and asked one of his own.

"What happened?" He felt like someone had taken a hammer to his leg and beat it for hours.

"Your left knee was dislocated completely out of the socket. I gave you some laudanum to dull the pain when I set it. You passed out." From the doctors clipped responses Slim guessed he was mad his question hadn't been answered.

Doctor Wilkins opened his mouth to ask presumably his question again when he was interrupted. To say the door was practically ripped off its hinges was an understatement. From Slim's position, he couldn't see who walked in and what the ruckus was about. The doctor walked into the hallway leaving Slim to crane his neck alone.

Straining his ears, Slim tried to listen in on the conversation going on in the other room.

"...torn up...thought...killed...discovered...helped me..." Confused at the indecipherable collecting of words Slim gave up as the conversation stopped.

Painfully, Slim pushed himself up against the headboard and made himself comfortable. Once the Doctor came back from treated whatever poor soul was out there he intended to find out when he could leave.

* * *

Buddy shifted from one foot to another as he stood by the doorway outside Doctor Wilkins' office. As people passed him on the boardwalk, Buddy reflexively dropped his gaze to the ground. He had learned from hard experience if he didn't he paid a large price. One that didn't wear off for weeks.

Several minutes the murmurs of conversation died down. Buddy still didn't understand why he told the lawman his prisoner was alive but after the stranger had explained a few things he was glad he did. The man in there wasn't some criminal but the strangers friend who they thought was killed in an accident.

While it felt nice to have possibly saved someone's life, he still knew no one would see him as anything after all this. As a young child Buddy had thought as long as he proved himself he would be a part of the city. He had long since received such attention. He was lucky to walk five paces in the boardwalk before someone pushed him off.

At least the man inside had a chance. For now, it was time for him to get back to work.

* * *

"Jessie! Where are you?" From his place behind the wood log, Jess snuffed out a laugh.

He loved this game... It was so easy to trick them into believing he had left them. But they knew he would never leave. Behind him he listened to the crashing of the waterfall and the brilliant blue water. The day was almost hot enough to make a swim in the sparkling water mandatory.

"I got you!" Jess wrapped his arms around his sister's small waist and hoisted her into the air.

A squeal of happiness caused a smile to light up his face.  _ He forgot what it was like to be this happy. _

"Jessie? Are you always going to be with me?" Jess lowered the youngster to the ground and crouched in front of her.

"I'll always be with you..." The ground lurched underneath them and Jess gasped. Fear rose in him and he grasped for the youngster, expecting to offer comfort instead to find she wasn't scared. Instead she looked up at him with more calm than Jess had.

"What?"

"It's alright Jessie. Never forget how much we love you. But it's time for me to go." She placed a hand on his cheek and wiped away the tears.

The warmth of the dream was fading and he suddenly felt cold.

"No please! I need more time! I can't go back, not now!" Desperation clawed through him.

"Jess...you must be strong, my young boy. It will be hard and frustrating when you go back. Things you could do easily will be harder now. But I promise you will be stronger because of it. I love you son." She disappeared from his view leaving only a memory.

"No please Ma! Come back!"

* * *

Slim sat in the chair beside Jess' bed and watched as he breathed in and out. It was strange how your friend could be dead one second and fighting for life the next. Doc Wilkins had protested Slim being up and around so soon after his leg had been set, but Slim he refused to be tied down to a bed one more second. Especially with Jess like this.

Looking down at Jess Slim studied his injuries. A white cloth had been securely tied around his head after Doctor Wilkins had clean and stitched the gash in his skull. Most gruesome of all, Jess' skin on his back had been cut so deep it had went to the shoulder bone. The doctor had been surprised Jess had lived so long without medical treatment.

The first few hours after Jess had been brought in, had been like torture. Doctor Wilkins said he had to do surgery to repair Jess' lung after the broken ribs had torn a hole through it. The worst of the news was when the Doctor described the swelling in Jess' brain after he had been trampled. He had begged the Doctor for more information about what it might mean for Jess but he had said there was nothing more he could tell him.

_ "The brain is one part of the body we don't fully understand. To be truthful, I have no idea what the trauma to the back of his skull will mean for him when he wakes up. If he wakes up." The Doctor sighed and moved to straighten the bandages that stretched across Jess' broken body. "His eyes are dilated and his skull is severely swollen and damaged. He could eventually awake with a headache and some slight balance issues that can eventually be fixed. Or...he could never wake up at all and if he does... If he does he could be in a permanent vegetative state. He would have to learn how to walk, talk, use his hands and even more." _

"You should get some sleep." Mort's unexpected remark made Slim jump only to clamp down a hand on his tender knee as pain shot through him.

"I'll get some sleep once I know he's going to be alright."

"You won't know he's alright when you collapse yourself." Mort put a hand on Slim shoulder and gently pushed him to the cot set against the wall opposite Jess' bed. "Go on. Get some sleep and you'll feel better."

Slim pushed back against the hand not wanting to leave Jess' side for even a second. Taking a deep breath Slim calmed his emotions. Deep down he knew Mort was right; he couldn't take care of Jess when he could barely stay awake himself. Reluctantly, Slim stood painfully and stiffly hobbled over to the cot and nodded his consent to Mort.

"Wake me if something changes." The last thing Slim saw was Mort sitting down in the chair beside Jess to begin his vigil.

**Chapter 12**

Mort felt like the last few days had been a whirlwind. He felt like a fool thinking Jess had been dead so soon. His mistake had almost cost the young man lying on the bed in front of him his life. As he watched Jess' chest rise and let his thoughts slip back to when his world had capsized.

* * *

_ Choncho's fur was soft beneath his hands as he brushed his mane and neck. Brushing his horse always calmed his nerves and he hoped would make the young boy behind him feel more trustful. He remembered Jess had been a lot like that when he first came to Laramie. The young gun slick had been jumping at shadows night until days and would shoot to his feet at the slightest sounds. After the months passed Mort watched Jess start to come alive more. A tightly knit brotherhood had arose between Jess and Slim that eventually included Mort. Jess had managed to pull himself and everyone else out of any hard situation they found themselves in. Jess became invaluable to Laramie and Mort as a deputy. _

_ "Mr.?" A soft voice from behind him caused to Mort to stop stroking Choncho. He smiled slightly that his plan had worked. _

_ "What is it?" He tried to keep his voice kind but an edge of steel managed to worm its way thorough and he saw the boy flinch. _

_ "Your...I...This..." The boy stuttered and looked at the floor as if he expected a fist to come his way. _

_ Mort studied the boy as he shifted from one foot to the other. The clothes the boy wore were patched and looked several sizes to big. Brown eyes and raven black hair told Mort the boy was at least one-fourth Cheyenne. That would explain why the boy is so nervous and he avoids me like I have the flu. Briefly Mort wondered if the boy even had parents and how well he got around Casper. He knew people didn't tend to be very nice to half-blooded Indians and avoided them. He considered breaking the tense silence and then decided against it. This boy looked like he was about to run out of the stable like it was on fire if Mort so much as sneezed. _

_ "Are you a bounty hunter?" Mort just about jumped out of his boots at the unexpected question. _

_ "Do I look like one?" _

_ "Kind of... its just you don't see many people bring someone to the stable slung over the saddle very often. What'd he do?" Mort choked on a laugh in the back of his throat at the thought of Jess being a dangerous criminal a lawman would rather shoot than bring in alive. To be honest when Jess first came to Laramie Mort had jumped down his throat every time something went wrong. Now he knew better... Had known better. _

_ "I'm not that kind of lawman son." Mort walked over to where the young boy stood by Jess' horse. Pointing at Jess Mort reached up to untie the ropes that held him on the saddle. "He's a friend of mine who was killed last night in an accident. Sure wish he was still around... Your name's Buddy right?" _

_ The boy nodded his head at Mort's question and reached to rub Traveler as Mort started to pull Jess of the horse. _

_ "So...you don't want to hurt him?" Mort's head was spinning as he tried to understand what this boy was meaning. _

_ "Buddy what is the world made you think I wanted to hurt him?" Buddy bowed his head and scuffed the dirt with the toe of his worn out boot. The hardened sheriff senses in Mort told him there was something more going on than Buddy was telling him. "Do you need to tell me something?" _

_ Mort stopped pulling Jess off the horse to stare down Buddy. Under his gaze Buddy started to back away from Mort. Glancing behind him Buddy's eyes gaged the distance to the door. As Buddy stepped backwards Mort lunged for the boy and dragged him to the ground. Buddy kicked and thrashed as Mort worked to pin his arms to the boy's side. Finally after Buddy grew tired he stopped thrashing. _

_ "Now, you better tell me what this is all about. I don't know what you're trying to hide but you better spit it out this instant!" Mort wrapped his hand in the boys shirt and shook him for emphasis. _

_ "Ok! That man you have there... he's...he's not dead! Honest! If you don't believe me check yourself!" Mort wasn't going to fall for that trick. Buddy was just trying to be Mort to turn his back long enough for the boy to hightail it out the door. "Honest!" _

_ "How do I know you're not saying this just to hide something else. I know for a fact that man is dead. Now tell the truth, why did you try to run?" At Mort's denial Buddy squirmed and started kicking to get away again. This lawman was every bit as crooked as all the others. _

_ "What would I have to gain by lying to you? Whether you believe me or not, you have to check that man! He'll die if you don't help him." Mort released his hold on the kid and stood; towering over him. What would the kid have to gain by telling him Jess was alive? _

* * *

_ Mort didn't dare have hope Jess was alive. No he couldn't. He could stand it if he saw if Jess was alive and found he was still dead. But if there was a chance Jess was alive... He owed Jess and Slim enough to see if the kid was telling the truth. _

_ Mort stood outside the door where Jess was lying with the doctor. He still couldn't believe Jess was alive. Through the door he could hear Doctor Wilkins move around to tend to his injured patient. Mort wiped his mouth and wandered over to the patient rooms to check on Slim. _

_ "Mort who was that?" Slim was leaning against the headboard. _

_ "Doc Wilkins is taking care of a new patient." Mort didn't know why he put off telling Slim the truth. _

_ "Oh? You didn't answer my question about who the patient was Sheriff." Mort wished Slim would let up. Yet, since Slim had asked a direct question there was no way Mort could side step it again. _

_ "It's Jess." Slim bolted up in bed the instant he processed Mort's information. _

_ "Jess! He's alive?" Mort pushed Slim back on the mattress as he tried to practically climb over Mort in his haste to find where Jess was. _

_ "The Doctor's with him now. Slim... Slim! Lay still or so help me I'm gonna hog tie you to the bed so you can't move an inch! Just give me a second to explain." Slim stilled and waited for Mort to tell him what had happened in the Stable. _

**Chapter 13**

The world was a myriad of blurs and blotches that covered his vision. Foggily, he realized he didn't know where he was. He tried to turn his aching head to the side to look around only to find his body wouldn't obey him. Fear coursed through him as he found he had no way of finding out where he was.

"Jess?" He knew that voice... Slim? "Jess, it's me Slim. Jess I need you to wake up and answer me."

A strong hand grasped his and begged him to answer. The voice was full of emotion and wasn't beyond begging. Dimly the smell of rubbing alcohol and the feel of clean white sheets completed the puzzle that he was at a Doctors Office.  _ Why was he at the Doc's? Was someone sick? Am I sick? Why is Slim begging me to answer him? Doesn't he know I'm so tired? _

"Please Jess! Wake up for Mike and Andy!" The strong hand moved to shake his shoulder. Groaning inwardly, Jess wondered if this person would give him a moment's peace if he did as he asked.

"Mr. Sherman what is going on?" A strange voice made him rack his head for more information about what was going on.

"He's trying to wake up." Slim's voice ranged from relief and desperation. The bed he was lying on dipped as someone sat beside him.

"Has he said anything or opened his eyes?" Unknown hands pressed against his wrist and tugged at something around his head.  _ Why wouldn't they just let me sleep in peace? _

"He opened his eyes briefly and then closed them again. He hasn't made a sound."  _ What was going on? _ "This is good Doc isn't it?"

"It's too soon to tell..."

_ He was so tired... _

* * *

When Jess flicked his eyes open again things made a little more sense. As reality trickled through his senses he found he was lying on his back in bed. He stared up at the ceiling wondering how he got here. Shady fragments flashed through his foggy mind.

_ Brown and white flashes raced by him making his heart race. In his hand he held a knife was cutting cloth free from... branches? A horse's hooves thundered close to his ear and he looked up at a man on the horse. Without a greeting he pushed the bundle of cloth into the arms of the man on the horse and told him to leave. _

_ A blurry object slammed into his side, carrying him away from the man on the horse. And then... darkness. _

He worked to turn his head to the side and was rewarded with a slight tremor of muscles in his neck as they worked to obey his command. Eventually his head managed to tip to one side and the figure of Slim filled his vision. If he wasn't in so much pain he would have laughed. Sprawled out in the chair, Slim's head was tipped back in an unnatural angle that was sure to cause him pain later.

A bundle of cloth wrapped around Slim's left knee drew Jess' attention. Underneath the cloth Jess could see the stiff rods of wood that were held down the inside of his leg restricting its movement. Across his chest; Slim's arm was splinted and tied securely. He wanted to call out to his friend only to find he had difficulty forming the words. As he tried to get his attention; Slim started awake and noticed Jess looking at him.

"Jess!" Slim shifted as far forward in the chair as he could with his splinted leg. "Stick around pard while I find the Doc!"

Slim hobbled out of the room as fast as he could calling the Doctor's name as loud as he could. Jess watched as Slim summons drew a tall, athletic man into the room who was berating Slim for walking on his leg. When the Doctor saw Jess looking at him, he stopped mid-sentence and gazed in shock. His stint with Slim temporarily forgotten, he raced to Jess' side.

"Mr. Sherman, Mr. Cory would you step outside for a moment?" Unnoticed by Jess, Mort had sat up on the cot across the room at Slim's ranting. In Jess' blurred vision he thought he saw Slim's and Mort's chins hit the floor at the Doctor's request.

"But Doc..." Mort started but stopped when a cold gaze from the Doctor stalled him in his tracks. Defeated, Mort rose to his feet and pulled Slim from the room. Once the door clicked shut, the Doctor started talking.

"Now... my name's Doctor Wilkins. First of all what do you remember?"

Jess opened his mouth to try to talk again only to stop when he couldn't. Steeling his will he fought with his mind to force out the broken sounds from his lifeless lips. Yet, after several minutes of trying he couldn't get the words to come. Doctor Wilkins rested his hand on Jess' shoulder and shushed him from trying to speak.

"It's alright... You were in an accident that caused you to suffer a severe blow to the back of the head. A loss of words is to be expected with your condition. Lets try something different. Can you squeeze my hand?" In response to the question, Jess applied pressure to the Doctors hand wrapped around his.

"Good. Now I'm just going to ask you a few simple questions. Squeeze me hand once for yes, twice for no. Do you understand?" Jess squeezed his hand once. "Ok, let's start now. Is your name Joseph Fletcher?" Two squeezes answered his question.

"Are you in any pain and is your vision blurry or have black spots?" Jess applied pressure to his hand once to both questions. "Do you feel dizzy or nauseous?" Jess applied pressure to his hand once and he felt his eyelids closing. His body was demanding rest.

As Doctor Wilkins looked down at Jess he saw the young cowboy fighting a losing battle against sleep. As Jess Harper's eyes closed he sat back and thought about what the young man had told him. He seemed to be in control of his motor skills that allowed him to move his hand but the rest troubled him. It wasn't a good sign when a patient who experienced head trauma couldn't speak.

The pain from his wounds were expected but he hesitated prescribing laudanum. It had taken Mr. Harper three days to wake up and he had trouble staying awake.  _ Next time he wakes up I'll have to learn more about what's going on. For now... I suppose I have to tell his friends the news. _

Doctor Wilkins stood up and slowly walked to the door dreading having to tell the men on the other side that their friend may never be the same.

**Chapter 14**

Waiting outside the door was worse than torture. Slim bit his lip and fought against the urge to press his ear to the door and find out what was going on. Joy filled his heart at the thought that his best friend was back. He had a partner to work, fight and laugh beside.

Mort was as stiff as a board as he leaned against the wall beside the doorway expecting it to open any minute. Tense muscles in Mort's body added to the tight nerves building in Slim's body. Seconds ticked by like hours.

"What do you think it’s taking so long? The doctor should have been back by now."  _ Jess was fine wasn't he? _ Slim couldn't stop the thought from haunting his mind.

"I don't know. Maybe Doctor Wilkins is just be sure nothing is wrong."  _ Or something is wrong. _ The unspoken thought thundered through them.

The door opened! Slim and Mort straightened as the Doctor pulled the door closed behind him; putting yet another barrier between the pair and Jess. The pain and exhaustion in Slim's body made him slump against and wall causing the Doctor to frown at him.

"Mr. Sherman why don't you sit down before we pick you up off the floor." The Doctor pointed to the chair at the end of the hall.

Slim opened his mouth to protest when Mort cleared his throat meaningfully and nudged Slim to the offered seat. Biting his tongue, Slim limped to the chair and plopped down in it with more effort than what was needed. After he sat, Slim stared up at the Doctor waiting for him to share the news.

"Your friend is extremely lucky. From what you described to me, Mr. Harper shouldn't have survived the fall and better yet the lack of medical attention after the incident." From the corner of Skin's eye he caught Mort flinch at the Doctors words. Ever since Mort found Jess was alive he had been berating himself for believing he was dead so quickly.

"However, he still sustained a massive blow to the head and numerous gashes and breaks to his body. It was a good sign for him to wake up but..." Slim felt himself slide forward to the edge of the seat. "there seems to be further problems concerning his condition."

"What do you mean Doc?" Mort was not pleased with the Doctor's suspense.

"When I assessed his condition I found he could not speak." What felt like a sledgehammer slammed into Slim's stomach. Suddenly it felt like all the air had been taken out of the room. "Now you can still communicate with Jess but he can only answer yes and no questions but squeezing your hand. One squeeze means yes and two squeezes means no."

_ Jess wasn't the same? How could fate be so unfair to them? First Jess was taken from then and now when it seems when they have him back he might not be the same? It was unthinkable to confine a vibrant man who lived the fullest of life to a shell. A dull bust of what he was and could have been. _

"I don't want him to communicate with anyone yet because of his condition. His body and mind are weak and fragile. If we push him too hard and fast before he's ready we could do more damage than good." Seeing their shocked faces the Doctor stopped. "We just need to take things one day at a time. Rest is the best thing for him and then we will find the extent of his injuries."

"Can we see him?" Mort asked.

"Yes but one last thing... don't give him any indication that he may never be the same again. If we tell him the news that he may be crippled for life chances are he'll stop believing he can get better. To be blunt, he could stop trying to heal and get better." The Doc brushed a hand through his hair in a move of agitation. "We need to be careful how we deal with the next couple days."

Slim pushed himself off the chair and tried to cover the way his legs trembled as he stood. Dizziness washed over him draining the blood from his face. His hand grabbed for the back of the chair he had just vacated willing the nausea to fade. Black spots danced across his vision as he felt his legs give out.

The last thing Slim saw was the faces of the Doctor and Slim as the reached to catch him before he cracked his head open on the wooden floor.

* * *

Doctor Wilkins watched the two men enter the room at the bottom of the hall. It plagued him to see such a young person doomed to live a life less than he was before. It would have been better if Harper had died from his injuries.  Losing the ability to talk was just the beginning. He knew when he examined his patient further he would find obvious signs that Jess Harper wouldn't be the same again. He raked a weary hand over his face and rubbed the back of his neck. It was times like these he wished he could do more.

It was frustrating being stuck in this same position doing nothing but staring at the ceiling. Slim and Mort tried to cure his boredom the best they could but the Doctor stood his ground when it came to bothering Jess too much.

"I have your dinner." Mort balanced a bowl of broth in his hand while he sat down in the chair beside Jess.

Unable to speak Jess watched as Mort set the bowl on dresser beside the bed. He felt so powerless to lay here hour after hour being a shell of who he had been. Gently Mort leaned forward and put a hand underneath Jess' back and situated him where his back was against the headboard. Dipping the spoon into the chicken broth Mort brought the liquid to Jess' mouth.

Blushing in embarrassment at having to be fed, Jess swallowed as it was shoveled into his mouth. The bowl was half eaten when he couldn't open his mouth anymore. Mort was in the middle of begging him to swallow more when the Doctor walked in.

"How's our patient?" While the Doc's tone was cheerful Jess couldn't help but catch the worried look he passed Mort.  _ There's something more going on here they aren't telling me. _

Mort meaningfully held up the half-eaten bowl in his hand before putting it on the dresser. Mort shook his head sorrowfully to the Doctor and rubbed the toe of his shoe against the floor in an attempt to gain control of himself. Jess inhaled deeply only do regret not thinking about his busted ribs first.

Pain stabbed through him choking off his breath as he tried to tamp it down. Weakly he clenched his hand around the blanket he was covered in. Soon his oxygen starved lungs burned for him to take in a rapid breath. Only as he breathed in quickly his spit got caught and made him choke and gag. Doctor Wilkins roughly pushed Mort out of the way in his haste to get to Jess' side.

"Jess breathe..." His body shook as the Doctor tried to stall his movements. Desperate to ease to pain from his lungs he writhed and twisted on the bed as Mort joined in to pin him down. "Jess listen to me... you have to stop no matter how much it hurts. If you keep moving you'll wear yourself out and break open the stitches I put into you to hold you together."

He wanted to do as the Doc asked but found he couldn't. It hurt to bad. Pinpricks in his shoulder told Jess he had successfully popped the layers of stitches there. A warm wetness flowed down his back as every muscle tightened.

He wanted the pain to end.

**Chapter 15**

It was the deep pain that throbbed in his temples that brought Slim back to awareness. As he drifted farther from sleep he found every nerve in his body was lit up brighter than a Christmas tree in the winter. Lifting a heavy hand to his throbbing head, his suspicions were confirmed when he felt the white texture of a bandage wrapped around his skull.  _ Well it seems like I’m in the business of fainting like a school-girl now… I need to go see Jess. _

Slim drew his legs up to his chest intending to swing his legs off the bed when he gritted his teeth against the nerve grinding pain.  _ Today was definitely  _ _ not _ _ a good day. I should have stayed home… _ Once the pain had become manageable Slim sat on the edge of the bed and took in his surroundings.

Slim found he was in a completely different room than he had ever been in before.  _ How many rooms does the Doctor have? The office from the street didn’t look that big. _ White walls and scratchy sheets added to the assumption that he was still at the Doctor’s place. Standing slowly Slim realized his boots had been taken off when he was unconscious. A careful glance around the small room confirmed his boots were nowhere in sight.

Concerned slightly at how hard it was to walk in a straight line, Slim wobbled to the closed door in front of him. With a quick twist of his hand Slim pushed the door open and walked out only to run into someone with the intent to enter the room he had just vacated.

“You know Slim, the whole reason I took your boots was to dissuade you from leaving that room.” Mort pointed behind Slim to emphasize his point. “I swear I don’t know which one of you youngsters is worse: Jess or you. Here you two where arguing which one of you are more stubborn. The simple fact is you both are equals in your bullheadedness!” Using his right hand, Mort forcefully pushed Slim back into the room. “You never know when to stop, either of you.”

“Mort! I gotta go see Jess!” Despite Slim’s attempt to convince Mort to let him go Mort was having none of it. Not releasing his hand, Mort continued to push Slim back until he had forced him onto the edge of the bed. “Mort please! You have to let me check on Jess!”

“Oh no you don’t.” A quick move of Mort’s hands pushed Slim back down onto the thin mattress. “Slim listen to me, if you keep this up I’ll tie you to this bed so help me!”

Instead of staying put like Mort wanted him to, Slim continued to fight against Mort. Slim was not about to let anyone stop him from getting to his friend. Footsteps from outside of the small room drew Slim’s hope that someone would save him from Mort’s wrath. As the knob on the door across from the room twisted Slim’s hope reached an ultimate peak.

“What’s all the ruckus about? I have patients that need rest.” Slim deflated as the Doctor walked through the door as mad as a wet hen. His chances of finding sympathy just got smaller.

His fight gone out of him, Slim sank back into the plush mattress as the Doctor stalked closer intent on exacting his revenge. As the Doctor stopped in front of Slim staring him down Slim prepared himself for the scolding he knew was coming.

"Mr. Sherman you must understand no matter how much you want to see your friend you can't. You lost consciousness because you've been pushing yourself too hard. If you do not get rest you will continue to get worse. You cannot help you friend if you end up sick in the bed beside him." The Doctor paused to emphasize his point. "Jess can't recover like we need him to if he's worried about you."

"Are you saying I can't see Jess?" Slim wasn't sure what emotions were running through him; shame or fear.

"For now I think it would be best for both you and Jess if there was some distance between you two for a while." Beside the Doctor Mort dropped his gaze to the floor as if he was ashamed of this plan. "I'm prepared to make a deal with you. If you stay in this bed and rest, following all of my instructions then you can see Mr. Harper. Does that sound fair to you?"

Slim wanted to shake the Doctor and prove to him he was fine. He wanted to get up from this flea infested bed and walk through this miserable building until he found Jess and tell the Doctor to take a walk. But... Against his better judgement the Doctor was right. Slim just didn't want to admit it or like it. Taking a deep breath Slim nodded forlornly.

Doctor Wilkins reached down and clasped a hand on Slim shoulder as if he understood how hard it was for him. How hard it was to choose to protect a friend by staying away.

**Chapter 16**

Lying on the bed, Jess felt the throbbing of his shoulder slowly start to fade as the medicine the Doctor had given him began to work. Dimly, he remembered the feeling of the needle as it passed through his skin and the sudden release as the Doc cut the thread only to start stitching the next patch of skin together.

While Mort had never left his side, Jess missed the presence of his friend. Cursing his bad luck at not being able to speak, Jess slowly clenched the thick blanket covering him. He was a person of action and being unable to move and work off his extra energy made him stir crazy. Thinking back Jess forced his aching head to remember what got him here.

_ "...take him and get him to safety! Make him understand!" The way Mort looked down at him told Jess he would do anything to get Jess and Slim to safety. A blinding flash of pain along his side stole his breath and we watched as Mort and Slim became specks in the distance. Still gasping for air, his fingers dug for purchase around the meat neck of a yearling he had managed to grappel in his desperation to live. A sudden move from the cow he was holding onto sent Jess leaning crazily off the steer praying to not fall. _

_ Impossibly, he pulled himself up out of danger. If he could just hold on long enough everyone could get the cows turned and he'd have a chance to live. As the canyon walls started to open wider Jess' hopes leaped in his chest only to be dashed a millisecond later. _

_ One of the countless steers racing by the cow was clinging to swerved into him and left him hanging over the void. He choked on emotion as the tentative hold he held slipped and the ground rushed to meet him. heavy hooves slammed into his back drawing tears. His vision blurred and then went black as a hard object slammed into his head chasing away consciousness. _

Blinking away the memory Jess pressed his bandaged head further into the pillow. His head pounded more than before the flashback. Relief flooded through him as his fragmented mind remembered how got his injuries.

He'd pushed Slim into the arms of Mort and knew only one of them could be carried to safety. Nothing mattered more than to know Slim would be safe even if Jess wasn't.

"Mr. Harper how are you feeling?" The young Doctor walked into the room not bothering to announce his entrance.

Jess fought the urge to glare at the pointless question. It wasn't as if he was in the position to answer. The Doctor took a detour to pick up a pair of shears from a small table and took a seat in the chair to Jess' left.

"I'm going to check this bandage on your head. Now let me do all the work." Expert hands raised Jess' head up off the pillow as he proceeded to cut and unwrap the white bandage.

Deathly silence sent Jess' mind to thinking about what could be wrong with his battered body. Doctor Wilkins quickly unraveled the quickly slowing down when he came to the raw, split skin. Apologizing, he pulled the bandage off where the bandage had been glued to the skin by blood.

Dropping the shears onto the bed Dr. Wilkins rolled Jess on his right side so he could examine the one and a half inch gash across the back of his skull. The layers of thin black stitches were still in place much to the Doctor's delight.

"It looks good. Very good in fact." Doctor Wilkins rolled Jess onto his back and rearranged the blankets around him again. "It's still tender I'm sure but the tenderness should begin to go away in the next few days. I expect in at least three days the stitches will be ready to come out. I don't want to leave them in any longer to prevent scar tissue. You have a pretty deep gash." Turning in his seat Doctor Wilkins searched for a fresh roll of bandages to find there was none in the room. "It looks like I forgot to get more bandage rolls before I came. I'll be back in a few minutes and bandage that wound for you." As quickly as the Doctor had come he was gone again.

* * *

In the quiet of the room Jess listened to the faint sounds of people moving and walking in the street.  _ More than anything he wanted to get up from this stifling bed and room that held him captive. Even more he wanted to leave the body that held him captive. No matter how irresponsible it sounded, he couldn't, wouldn't be chained in a body that would never do anything more than stare at the ceiling all day.  _ An object on the bed drew Jess’ attention and then he remembered. The shears!

As he gripped the shears in his hand he thought about what he should do. There was no doubt at one time he would have fought tooth and nail to stay alive. That voice to stay alive and fight was gone now. Maybe it meant he was giving up in life but it's how he felt. Shifting his eyes to the doorway, Jess estimated he had at least five minutes to do what his heart wanted.

* * *

Doctor Wilkins snatched up the forgotten rolls of bandages off from the surgical table and turned to walk back out the door. Shaking his head over his carelessness, he walked through the open door when he heard Mort Cory shout for him.

"Doc come quick!" Grabbing the old doctors bag he kept in his surgical room for house calls he raced down the halls towards the source of the shouts. "Jess no, oh please no!"

Halfway down the hall, Doctor Wilkins caught the sounds of Slim getting out of bed to investigate. Pushing open the door to Skin's room he stepped through the doorway.

"Stay here!" Before a response came the Doctor pulled the door closed in Slim's face.

Rushing to the door at the end of the hall in a few long strides he burst through the open doorway expecting anything. What he saw instead would haunt him for years to come. Mort Cory stood over a bloody Jess hanging slightly off the bed. As he neared the bed, his experienced eyes assessed Mr. Harper's injuries.

Blood pooled in the sheets and blankets on Jess' right side puzzling him until he saw the body pair of shears clutched in Jess' left hand.  _ How did I miss that he might do this to himself? _ Looking closer he noticed jagged cuts on both wrists. More blood spilled through his wrists than he knew the cowboy had to give.

**Chapter 17**

_ "You shouldn't have come back Jessie." Turning around Jess saw the youngster was back again. She stood a few feet away from him glaring at him if that was possible. _

_ "But Ma..." He wanted to make her understand why he wanted out. Why he couldn't do it. _

_ "I told you to be strong son. I told you it was time to go back." She walked closer and put a soft hand on his cheek. "You were given a chance to go back and live again. There are more people than you realize that dream of being able to go back and hold their family again. You discarded your chance." _

_ Clear tears spilled down his cheeks as her words hit him. She didn't understand what it would be like to live a life being an invalid. She didn't understand how hard it would be to watch everyone around him life and grow only for him to be stuck in the same place forever. He'd watch Mike grow up without ever teaching him to ride or fish or swim. He'd watch his friend struggle to keep his land and run and ranch because he could never help him.  _ _ She didn't understand! _

_ "I can't Ma!" His words came out loud and strong as he emotions came out through them. "I can't live like that! I can't be trapped in my own body knowing I could never be anything more than an extra burden to those I care about! How would you understand what it would be like to never speak or communicate beyond anything more than a squeeze of a hand? I can't do it! I won't do it!" _

_ Jess dropped to his knees on the long soft grass and sobbed. Feet shuffled above him as the youngster stepped closer and knelt down. _

_ "So that gives you a reason to end it all? So that gives you the right to throw away the hopes, dreams and love of everyone you know on the other side?" A hand cupped his chin and tipped his head up forcing him to meet her gaze. "Jess Harper I  _ _ never _ _ taught you to roll over and give up the instant all the cards are stacked against you! I taught my children to fight for what they believe in and have the courage to do things that are hard. I taught my children to think of someone else first before they took the easy way out! Did you once think of what affect your actions would have on those that love you?" _

_ The hand released him and he dropped his gaze to the ground. He had been so selfish to think killing himself would solve all his problems. _

_ "Your friend Slim Sherman has already lost you once. Now you are making him live through that pain again. Mort Cory; needs you more than you realize. He saved you as much as you saved him when you came to Laramie. Mike; thinks you are the best thing that ever walked the Earth. Do you understand that you're his hero? Mike lost his parents, what do think will happen to him if he loses someone else? Daisy... Need I talk about Daisy as well? What about Andy and Jonesy?" Jess cringed as the names were listed. "Stay here I have to go." _

_ Looking up sharply, Jess watched as his mother started to walk away from him. _

_ "Ma no! You can't leave me!" Jess clambered to his feet eager to stop her from leaving. His mother stopped mid-stride and looked back at him with a look that made him stop. _

_ "You must stay here my son. I must see what will be decided after the choices you have made. Unfortunately for your friends, you may just get your wish to leave them. Perhaps if you are left alone you'll understand what your friends are feeling." The youngster walked a few more paces and then turned back to him as if she forgot something. "And Jess, I am very disappointed to call you my son." _

_ And just like that Jess was left standing completely and utterly, alone. _

* * *

Slim leaned against the door to his room and strained to hear the muted sounds coming from Jess' room. His heart pounded as he wondered what could be wrong with Jess to cause this reaction. His hand grasped the door knob and slowly turned the knob. The Doctors words to stay away from Jess rang in his mind drawing his hand off the knob.  _ No! The Doctor doesn't know anything about what Jess and I need! I'll stay by Jess' side until my last breath. No one will change that. _

Casting away his doubts, Slim turned the knob and pushed the door open.

* * *

_ A slight, warm breeze ruffled his hair making him feel content. In the distance, he could hear the leaves rustling in the wind and the slight smell of pine needles. Jess basked is the sunlight as all him senses were filled by this paradise. He wanted to stay here and never have a care in the world again. He wanted to feel what it was like to be a child again and never have any worry or fear in your life. He felt at peace. The sound of grass rustling as someone walked through it caught Jess' attention. Walking towards him was the faces he longed to see again. _

_ "Pa!" For a split second he was a boy again and longed to be held and comforted in the safety of his father’s arms. He remembered what Slim had said about his father being his hero.  _ _ I wish I could have met Slim's parents. _

_ Strong arms wrapped around him as he held onto his father.  _ _ His hero. _ _ Small arms wrapped around him legs and he turned to hold onto the small little of live of his siblings he's begged to save but couldn't. The faces that filled his dreams and nightmares. His heart swelled with happiness as he held onto his family tightly. _

_ "I missed you all so much." A hand on his shoulder turned him to face his father. _

_ "Jess my boy we need to talk." Nodding, Jess followed his father as they walked towards the tree line. "I know you missed us badly when we left you, Francie and Johnny. I understand it was hard to move on after what happened that night and you were left to make out on your own having to take care of your younger siblings. I must admit for the first years growing up I was pretty certain you were going to end up dead in some town that didn't have a name with no one to care about you. It was a welcome relief when you found your way into Laramie and made friends with Slim Sherman." _

_ Shock covered Jess' face as he reached out a hand to stop his father. _

_ "Do you mean you were there the whole time? You saw everything I did after you died?" Sharp blue eyes pierced Jess'. _

_ "Of course we did. We always were and are. Who else would care more for you than your own family?" His Pa sighed and put a hand on his arm. "Jess, I know that you're scared to go back and live a life that's different than what you're used to, but there have been many people who were and are faced with the same problem and faced it with all the courage they have. I know you have the courage to face this, you just have to believe in yourself." _

_ "Does that mean I have to go back?" Ashamed of his question, Jess dropped his gaze to his boots. _

_ "That's for you to decide son. I have go." Giving his son's arm one last squeeze he started to walk back to the children a few hundred yards away. "Whatever you decide, follow your heart and remember whether you see us or not we'll always be there." _

_ Happy chirps of birds in the wooded forest caught Jess' attention and when he turned back his family was gone.  _ _ Follow your heart. _ _ He thought about everyone he had counting on him. Slim, Mike, Mort, Daisy, Jonesy and Andy. They had opened their hearts to Jess in more ways than one. His mother said they needed him as much as he needed them. Maybe he couldn't be strong for himself but he could be strong at least for them. _

_ It was time to go home even if he'd never be the same. _

* * *

_ Three weeks later... _

Jess looked over the yard of his home as the sun rose in the sky and smiled. Beside him rested the thick wooden cane he used to get around. It was a reminder of the work he still needed to do but at least he could walk. To his delight this morning he'd managed to make it to the porch without Slim hovering over his shoulder. The progress was slow but he didn't mind. As long he was getting better that was all he needed.

"Jess!" A flash of hair was followed by an added weight as Mike jumped onto his lap. "You're getting around real good now aren't ya?"

Still unable to speak, Jess nodded. While many people found his silence unsettling, Mike didn't seem to notice or stop his questions.

"Jess when are you going to take me fishing like you promised?" As Jess thought about how he would answer, a familiar stride made him look behind him.

"Mike, I'll take you fishing today; if you get your chores done." Slim's offer was answered with an excited hoop as Mike raced off to the barn to do the requested chores. "And you, the Doctor said to never go anywhere by yourself. You need to be careful with your injuries."

Jess pointed at Slim's arm meaningfully as his silent words were understood.  _ And this was the pot calling the kettle black. _ Rolling his eyes, Slim sank into the empty chair beside Jess, admiring the sunrise in silence.

"L...looks n...nice" Slim jumped to his feet as Jess' two words brought hope to his heart.

Jess was back...


End file.
